Last Tuesday was one of those days that you want to bottle. He got dressed without any negotiation. He ate breakfast sitting at the table. He arrived at school with a smile. By lunchtime I had texted three people to say: "I think something has shifted. I think we're turning a corner.
And Then Wednesday Happened
I won't go into detail. But Wednesday was, by any measure, one of the hardest days we'd had in months. There was a meltdown before 8am. School drop-off didn't happen. I sat in the car on the driveway at 9:15am wondering if I'd imagined Tuesday entirely.
The Grief of the Dip
There's a particular kind of grief that comes with the dip after a good day. It's not just disappointment—it's the feeling of having let yourself hope. And then feeling almost punished for it.
I've spoken to enough parents in similar situations to know this is one of the most common and least talked-about experiences in our world. We learn, painfully slowly, not to over-invest in the good days. But that's not the same as not feeling them.
What the Research Actually Says
Neurodevelopmental progress is rarely a straight line upward. What looks like regression is often the nervous system consolidating gains—much like how a child learning to walk will suddenly become more wobbly before they become steadier. The good day and the hard day after it can both be part of the same forward movement.
Knowing this doesn't make Wednesday easier. But it does give me somewhere to put it.
Resetting Your Expectations (Without Giving Up)
We've had to completely reframe what progress looks like for our family. It's not a steady upward curve. It's a landscape with peaks and valleys, and the valleys don't erase the peaks.
Some of the things that help us hold this: keeping a rough log of notable positive moments (nothing elaborate—a note on my phone is enough), reminding ourselves of where we were a year ago, and being honest with each other when one of us is slipping into "it's never going to get better" thinking.
It does get better. Just not in a straight line.
