Getting a neurodivergent or PDA child to school can be one of the biggest daily challenges — but it doesn’t have to set the tone for the whole day. In this post, I share how allowing extra time, offering choices, and staying flexible has helped make our walk to school calmer and more enjoyable. I also include simple, practical tips for other parents on adapting routines, keeping things fun, and focusing on what truly matters: getting your child to school regulated, not rushed.
If you have a neurodivergent or PDA child, you’ll know that the school run can sometimes feel like a mini-marathon before the day has even begun. Getting out the door, managing transitions, coping with sensory triggers, and balancing everyone’s emotions — it’s a lot.
Over time, I’ve learned that the key to a calmer morning isn’t about sticking to a rigid routine. It’s about flexibility, connection, and meeting your child where they are — even if it means doing things a little differently than you imagined.
Here’s what’s helped us make those mornings easier and, sometimes, even enjoyable.
1. Always Allow Extra Time
If there’s one golden rule, it’s this: build in more time than you think you need.
With a PDA child, rushing can be the biggest trigger. Feeling pressured — even by the clock — can cause anxiety to spike and cooperation to plummet.
I’ve learned to start the morning earlier, not to be more “efficient,” but to create breathing space. If my child needs an extra five minutes to get their shoes on or time to decompress before we leave, that’s okay. Having that cushion means I’m not anxious — and my calm helps them stay calm too.
2. Work Out What Works for Your Child
Every child is different. What motivates one might overwhelm another.
For us, offering choice has been a huge help. Some mornings I’ll ask:
“Would you like to go on your scooter today or take the car?”
Other days it’s:
“Shall we take your sibling first or go straight to your classroom?”
Giving options helps my child feel in control, which is essential for a PDA profile. It’s not about manipulation — it’s about reducing the sense of demand and allowing them to feel safe and empowered.
3. Be Prepared to Adapt and Compromise
This one took me a while to accept — and honestly, it’s still a work in progress.
Some mornings, the plan I had in my head just doesn’t fit where my child is emotionally. Maybe the usual route feels “wrong” that day, or the thought of walking is just too much.
So instead of insisting we do things my way, I try to shift the goal. My priority isn’t to have the perfect walk — it’s to get my child to school regulated and ready for the day ahead.
If that means driving halfway and walking the rest, taking a detour past a favourite spot, or bringing along a small comfort item, that’s okay. Flexibility really is your best friend.
4. Make It Fun and Engaging
Sometimes, reframing the walk to school as something fun rather than a chore makes all the difference.
We’ve had mornings where we pretend we’re detectives searching for clues, or explorers looking for “hidden treasures” (fallen leaves, funny shaped stones, or certain coloured doors).
Even small things like counting red cars, spotting cats, or playing a favourite song on the way can shift the energy from resistance to connection.
When it feels like a shared adventure instead of an obligation, everything flows more smoothly.
5. Keep Perspective: Regulation Over Routine
It’s easy to get caught up in wanting mornings to go “right” — smooth, structured, on time. But the truth is, the best mornings aren’t the ones that run perfectly. They’re the ones where we all arrive at school regulated and emotionally ready.
Your route might look different from everyone else’s — and that’s completely fine. What matters is that your child feels safe, supported, and connected to you.
Final Thoughts
Every school morning is a fresh start, and some days will go better than others. But giving yourself and your child grace makes all the difference.
Take your time. Allow space for flexibility. Celebrate the small wins.
Because when you prioritise connection and regulation over routine, the journey — to school and beyond — becomes a lot smoother for everyone.