Caring for a neurodivergent child often means living in a constant state of vigilance — always watching, planning, and protecting. In this post, I share a deeply personal story about a simple moment at a swimming pool that reminded me how to truly be present with my son — and with myself. Through that experience, I rediscovered the importance of letting go, even briefly, and allowing joy and calm to exist without guilt. I also share gentle, practical ways caregivers can begin to prioritise their own wellbeing, recharge their energy, and remember that taking time for yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential.
I didn’t expect anything special that day. It was just a swimming party — one of those events that usually comes with a mix of excitement and quiet anxiety.
If you’re a caregiver or parent to a neurodivergent child, you’ll understand that low hum of alertness that never really turns off. You’re always scanning, predicting, ready to catch the next wave before it hits.
But that day, something changed.
The Pool That Changed Everything
My son and I got into the water together. At first, I was doing what I always do — watching, supporting, staying just a step ahead of anything that might become “too much.”
Then, he laughed. A deep, joyful, unguarded laugh that made the whole pool ripple with energy. And before I knew it, I was laughing too.
For those few moments, nothing else existed. The world shrank to just the two of us — splashing, smiling, soaking in the moment.
And here’s the beautiful thing: I didn’t notice that all my apprehension had faded until it was gone. The tension, the mental checklist, the constant readiness — it had quietly melted away.
For the first time in years, I wasn’t the caregiver, the advocate, or the planner. I was just mum. Just me.
We Forget How Much We Carry
When you care for a neurodivergent child, you live in a state of constant awareness — of sensory needs, emotions, surroundings, and triggers. It becomes automatic, almost invisible. But it’s heavy.
That day in the pool reminded me what it felt like to be light. It reminded me that I’m still a person who deserves peace and laughter — not just responsibility.
Why Taking Time for Yourself Isn’t Selfish
We hear it all the time: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” But it’s more than a saying — it’s survival. When you refill yourself, you show up stronger, softer, and more connected.
Here are a few gentle ways to start:
-
Find moments of presence, not perfection.
You don’t have to plan a retreat. A few minutes of stillness or shared laughter can do wonders. -
Let go, just a little.
You don’t need to manage every moment. Joy sometimes lives in the space you leave unplanned. -
Build small rituals for yourself.
A quiet coffee, a short walk, a deep breath in silence — these are acts of care too. -
Accept help — without guilt.
Allow others to step in. Trust that it’s okay for you to rest. -
Remember: your needs matter.
You are not an afterthought. You are part of this story too.
Recharge. Reset. Return to Yourself.
That day in the pool was simple — ordinary, even. But in that ordinariness was magic. It was the moment I remembered how to just be — to exist in the now, without the weight of what’s next.
So, to every caregiver out there: take your moment. Sit in it. Let yourself breathe, laugh, or simply rest.
Because when you care for yourself, you’re not stepping away from your child — you’re stepping toward a more present, balanced version of you.
And that’s the version your child needs most.